


Don't Mind!

by emuhatefire, Justamelonbun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Multi, This is pure crack, dragon - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:22:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23634547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emuhatefire/pseuds/emuhatefire, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justamelonbun/pseuds/Justamelonbun
Summary: A collection of Haikyuu!! crack oneshot fanfics, if you get easily offended this may or may not be for you. Read if you wanna have a bad time.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	1. Dragon!Oikawa x Reader

The great dragon reared its head, intent on burning the ground alive, yet Oikawa Tooru was set on making the dragon bow before him. However it had to get rid of the faceless that were chasing him first. 

The faceless were scary beings, feared by all; they had the ability to steal the identities of others, stripping them of their features, and eventually- their lives. 

Yet Oikawa was a talented fighter always maintaining a good distance between him and the faceless. That was, until the day the faceless nation struck-

However this was not Avatar and there was no airbender, instead there was just Oikawa slipping up and getting his face stolen. Stolen wasn’t even the correct word to use, really, after all in his personal opinion, it felt more like his face had been sucked from him. In turn as did his conscience get transferred to the faceless.

“Oh no!” Cried y/n from afar, yet to Oikawa it was all but a blur. Stumbling around like a drunk fool, he felt around him, trying to control his new body which refused his command. Feeling something solid under his hand, he grabbed onto tight to it. Unbeknownst to him, however, that was the dragon’s body which he had grabbed onto.

The dragon, angry at being grabbed, turned its ugly head towards Oikawa, wanting to fry the man. However, the dragon swivelled too far and collided into Oikawa’s face instead. Not many people understood the grand power that the faceless possessed. Rather that after transferring a face, they had a single minute before the face fully set- in a way it was much like baking- and during that one minute, the face can be transferred to various other surfaces and this including the dragon.

“Oh no!” y/n cried out again, despairing for their nearly, but not quite, kind of, but not yet boyfriend. To y/n’s horror, y/n had found Oikawa’s face on the dragon!

Groaning, Oikawa looked around. He was… taller, bigger, thiccer one may aptly say, and most importantly he was powerful.

Roaring great flames of gold and copper, Oikawa felt agony at his loss of body.

“I am too ugly for you y/n.” He shouted out into the cave.

“Oh no! You’ll never be too ugly for me!” y/n responded back, trying to hug him, yet they clung onto the tail. Feeling an annoying itch on his tail, Oikawa thrashed it about forcing y/n to tumble off from the tail.

Slowly, Oikawa could feel his need to breathe fire, releasing flames, he observed as the destruction and despair spiralled out of control around him.

Y/n watched sadly as the flames approached them, closing their eyes, y/n burnt to death.

That was the sad story of how the degenerate trash couple met their end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... hope you weren't too mentally scarred??


	2. The unfortunate events of Sakusa Kiyoomi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...... I have no words either

Sakusa Kiyoomi, a rare beauty, one may say a diamond in the rough, yet could anyone say that Sakusa had sneezed on them before?

Most people would be disgusted by this, but I, y/n, am not. You see being sneezed on by any other person would normally be a disgusting affair, one that could only be properly apologised for with a smack in the face- yet Sakusa’s sneeze ignited a flame in my heart. 

That day, on our fateful meeting in secondary school where the cherry blossoms shed their beautiful flowers, ones that twirled down onto the ground in a dance of passion. Sakusa didn’t have his mask on. Why? I didn’t know, no one knew, not even his most trusted and loyal slave Motoya. Me, being most famously known as the ice hearted Queen of Itachiyama had been walking past when all of sudden his germs were sprayed onto me.

Looking disgusted at both himself and me, our eyes met and from that day on the love would not stop flowing. 

“SAKUSA!!!” I screamed out, waiting for him to turn around and happily shout back, “y/n I love yuwu!” 

However, my dear Sakusa fled down the hallways instead, it was almost like he had seen the devil’s incarnate or something. 

Yet one fateful day I received a white envelope. Sniffing it I smelt the pleasant aroma of a hospital ward, it had clearly been spritzed with cleaning liquid beforehand and judging by the slight tang of citrus, it was Sakusa who had sent it.

Ripping it open with joy, I rifled through the contents, to my joy I found a single piece of white card, neatly typed on it the words said:  _ Y/n meet me at the balcony after school. _

Grinning at Sakusa who merely turned his head away, I waited anxiously for the day to end. As soon as the school bell had rung its cheery tunes, I sprinted to the balcony to see what my love had to say.

“SaKuSA?!” I cried out, trying to give the stiff boy a hug. 

Dodging expertly under my arms, I saw him glare at me. However, I’m sure that glare wasn’t really a glare, after all Sakusa’s just slightly shy.

“Y/n, please stop bothering me.”

Laughing at that joke, I smiled up happily at Sakusa.

“But Sakusa darling, we’re engaged, how could you possibly ignore mee?”

Swinging myself up to sit on the balcony, I pucker my lips for a kiss. How romantic, right? Sakusa and I had a meeting on the balcony just like Romeo and Juliet.

Scrunching his nose up at my comparison between us and the fated lovers, he stepped forwards, eyes blinking and the dashing mask sitting snugly against his mouth. Putting his hands lightly against my waist, he titled his head.

“Weren’t Romeo and Juliet destined to die?”

With that, I felt a shove happen and before I knew it, I tumbled off from the balcony.

  
  
  



End file.
